Have you ever been so broken inside, that you physically hurt? That you know you are about to take your last breath? Ive felt that way for almost six months to the day. You know people die, it's part of life, but it's the part that no amount of education, parenting,or even prayer can prepare you for."I'm sorry for your loss" The great quote, "I know how you feel" Let me tell you right now, word of advice. Unless you have walked in that persons shoes, unless you have experienced whatever the hell it is their going through, keep that "I know how you feel, crap to yourself. We have all lost someone, and this isn't my first rodeo. Grandparents, cousins, friends, my first love committed suicide, but there is nothing that compares to holding your daddy's hand, feeling his breathing becoming shallow, his skin becoming ash. There are no more words, you know that your prayers have not been answered, and like holding your finger on the pause button, everything happens in slow motion. My entire life, every word, every laugh and believe me, every regret was just running through my mind. I had no control, I couldn't make my dad keep breathing, I couldn't help my kids, my sister, least of all myself. In that moment, I honestly have no idea which emotion was stronger. Pain, loss, regret, or anger.
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